Saturday, March 30, 2013

Easter Weekend

Hey look, I brought my camera to school on a NICE day. I don't know if I'm just spoiled, or if the mountains just don't look as impressive in pictures. 

The magazine project is coming together nicely. Well, stressfully.

My saturday is being spent researching the next bit. Stressfully. And yes, I'm multitasking and looking up recipes at the same time. I just noticed how few of my magazines actually HAVE inserts! 

In other news, I made scones for the first time in many months. They're pretty crumbly.

For Easter Monday brunch: Katie's bacon lasagna! It looks like a lot of bacon.

I did Lent again this year, or at least my version of it. I had a much more thought-out explanation last year, and fewer people to explain it to, so I feel like I was sheepish and lame about it. Something to do with making and honouring a commitment to myself, in practice for life or something. To know that, in a non-serious way, if the zombie apocalypse happens I can do without my favourite luxuries, and that, in a serious way, if things do fall apart I can hold fast to something that I'll always have. I can stand by statements that might make things unpleasant, and might not make sense. I know that I can keep the promises I make. I'm just strengthening my bond to myself rather than to a deity, and I choose to do this during Lent for the same reason that I give people gifts at Christmas (I dunno, 'tis the season?). Also, Easter is boring, and Lent makes me look forward to it much more.

So, I gave up pasta. And to be honest it's one of the few things that have held the last six weeks together. I know I can rely on myself, and that makes it all the more difficult to try and... well, if I may be vaguely specific, to give someone the opportunity to share the load, even when that may be the only way they can redeem themselves.

In short, the Easter pie is going to be late this year. If it happens. A promise I made to myself (that I know I can keep) is never to make it again, if I have to make it alone.

Monday, March 18, 2013

Winter? What Winter?

And this was weeks ago! And it may be misleading since the window wasn't open for very long, but I'd set my toast on fire see, and was pleasantly surprised by the weather. Since then, the flowers have bloomed and the trees are getting leaves. The hostas are even starting to come up, or at least something is.

I think I might take the day off tomorrow. Really off. Clean some, cook a bit. Seems like I haven't eaten in a week. Maybe get serious about poking things with needles, instead of just letting my yarn slowly take over.

But hey, some cool things. I got to write another paper about Ulysses! Felt like a bit of a cop-out since I took a whole course on it, but this paper delineated the publication history, which is super interesting and which I'd never had the chance to really go into before.

I decided I was going to make a stand and specifically not drink on St Patrick's Day (the mild hangover helped this resolution). I was going to ignore it completely! Yeah! Then walked out of the house realizing I was wearing a green shirt after all. EVERY YEAR. I do wish I had some whiskey for a cake though. Or, you know, just to have.

Thursday, March 14, 2013

Solidarity: It's Always There.

Two things for now, more things for later.

First, I noticed while reading Downton Abbey Cooks that yes, locking your food in the oven happens to the best of us.

Second, the results are in for the "contest" I ran a few weeks ago. Bronwyn wins! But it won't be ready as early as I'd promised, because I realized that I still have a bunch of brown fabric left over from the Hot Beartatos at home, with which I've yet to do anything. But the good news is, I'm going back there in 42 days!

Oh, and I have an internship! Working at Livres Canada Books, helping Canadian publishers with international marketing endeavours. Sounds pretty schmancy, but I'm sure I'll just spend the whole summer writing catalogue copy. On the other hand, this is probably the best way to find out what's needed for going beyond the domestic market as a little start-up publisher. So it's pretty fantastic.

Things are... better than two weeks ago. That is for sure. I guess I just know some wonderful people :)

Friday, March 1, 2013

That was fast.

I'm so sick of 2013.

I know, I know, it's barely March.

But after losing my dog, going through regular old-fashioned heartbreak, and now having my apartment broken into, it's hard to feel safe and warm and happy.

And even my cheer-up shopping trip ended in this:

It was only the second time I'd worn it and no, I didn't snag it on anything. It just happened.

There are bright sides, of course. There's fun, there are new people, there are a ton of "at leasts." At least I had my brand new laptop with me at school when they broke in. At least I hadn't popped home for that shower like I was debating. At least the chain of my favourite necklace (most value both in fact and in sentiment) broke last winter and so was safely in Ontario, waiting for repair. At least I've moved away from home before. At least I've lost friends and people before. At least I know I have myself through all of it. 

But still. There are reasons I miss the people I miss, and reasons I love the people I love. The best of new friends and lofty aspirations can't replace them, or help me forget that it's the old best friends, the family, the dog and the boyfriend, the instruments, the boardgames, the house I grew up in, laughter and hugs and above all the security and love of home that I need right now. 

Time is passing. I'm getting things done. Good things still loom on the horizon. And I'm coping. But I'm only coping.